DEUTSCH
NEDERLANDS

Official website
of
HAN MARIE STIEKEMA

 


 

 

MOTHER LOVE

MOTHER LOVE

What is mother love? For nine months the baby has grown in mother's belly. All that time the former had been a part of the latter. That experience will never leave her. Thus mother love is all-inclusive care for a being that always will remain a part of her. (That doesn't mean that every mother is also a skillful mother right from the start!). Realizing that in practice there is a whole spectrum of different kinds of mother love, some generalizations are certainly possible. What connects mothers who successfully raise their children? Because many of us still have been raised by a mother, the key aspects of her care must be familiar. Educational science, psychology, anthropology, sociology have contributed a great deal to a more clear picture. The outcome will not please everybody. Many unanimously agree on several basic principles, though. First of all, a newborn baby only thrives if it is raised by ONE caretaker, only. This can be the biological mother or a substitute. The reason is the baby's most fundamental need: security. The latter is only guaranteed if the adult is one and the same person. The baby needs to recognize the same energy, the same bodily smell, the same voice, the same face and the same way it is carried e.g. fed. Only then it knows it is in safe hands. Its need for security (German: "Geborgenheit") comes before being fed! The second related quality is continuity. The third is resonance. The consequence is far-reaching. Basic security in the early years is the foundation of basic trust in life, self-confidence, being rooted, inner balance, body- and feeling awareness, intimity, ability to relate, personal integration, stress-resistence, openness to the world, tolerance, woman-friendly attitude, the experience of being part of the Whole.....The crucial issue is, that if this basic security wasn't taken care of, in later years it will be almost impossible to repair the damage. It means that above mentioned related qualities are absent or distorted in some way or another.

WHAT WENT WRONG?

During many millennia women were men's possession. She had no entrance to power and wealth through her own effort. Therefore, she had no choice but to get it through manipulating men. Obviously, her strongest weapon was (is) sex. The second way was to project her frustrated ambitions into her children, especially into her sons. Something which is still very much a practice in Asia, for instance. The sons thus became the executives of mother's desires. Then, not too long ago, capitalist economy increased its demands. It started to put more and more strain on the men. The result: men had to work more and harder, in such a way, that they neglected their responsibilities toward the family. The "absent father" created the single educating mother. To the girls this wasn't too grave a consequence. The boys on the other hand, missed a father figure with whom they could identify. Many mothers tried to fill in the gap. To no avail. Very often the result was a over- mothered son. In many cases divorces were unavoidable. Many mothers - already burdened with the responsibility of educating their children alone - had to work in order to keep even. Through the recent hype of over-validating "work" over motherhood, an increasing number of mothers send their children to the kindergarden. If this happens in the first - let's say two years - grave consequences (see above) have to be faced. This time also for the girls. Both boys and girls suffer from being abandoned. It means that - if this trend goes on - the world has to be prepared to facing a new generation that hasn't got basic security.  As said above this damage will be almost unrepairable. One cannot provide a psychologist for every human being....

How deep the longing for the mother is can be illustrated by two examples. The famous Jane Goodall - who dedicated her life to studying chimpansees - observed how a very old mother-ape cared about her adult son in life-threatening trouble, despite the fact that she was about to die herself. The other example is often quoted. Soldiers in battle - "supermen" not afraid of anybody, not even of the "devil" - at the moment of their own death often exclaim "O, mother!" It proves how humans rely on their mother, even after having become an adult. Simultaneously, a mother will always care about her child. For the first time in history this primordial bond threatens to disappear. The cause is the ruthless socio-economic system. It is a well-known fact that big companies are deliberately destroying family bonds of the worker, this in order to claim the employee entirely for itself. Very soon, both men and women will be equally hit. Both genders doomed to be strangers on this earth, uprooted, alienated, cut off from real life, prone to become burn-out or worse. In "favourable" cases, people will step out of the system before it is too late. Like men of all times, women will start searching for their "true identity". It could lead to a new kind of solidarity, the beginning of a time in which both men and women go on a spiritual quest. This quest will be foremost to find "the way back Home", to return to the Origin, in the hope for renewal. How lucky we are nowadays that a New Era dawns. One in which the "old God" has been exposed as being in the image of an manipulating institution, one that distorted everything sacred on this earth. It is the Revelation of the Cosmic Mother as the Ultimate Reality, that brings back hope to this world

COSMIC MOTHER LOVE

Within the social dimension a catastrophy seems to be unavoidable. Adults without basic security will become a threat to social "stability". All (feminist) books about gender focus on the bio-psychological dimension only. Their models are very often....social darwinistic. Very often men are degraded to a underdog role. "The future is feminine", they exclaim. Well, it depends on the kind of women, really. As explained above, the trend toward more ego-obsessed women doesn't look rosy on the long run. Their emancipation is NOT a cause of concern (at all) but the fact that women uncritically serve the capitalist system, the same system that oppressed them for so long, is. What is more deplorable though is the lack of spirituality in feminist publications. Yes, some hope for new men - "Gandhi's" or even "Christs" - without taking the consequence of their utterances. It is the fact that deep within, women and men are absolutely identical. The Essence of both men and women is Divine. From this point of view it is impossible - nay, a sign of grave ignorance - to proclaim the superiority of one sex over the other. The fact that men "have only a Y chromosome", contrary to women who possess two XX, is in this regard totally irrelevant. It doesn't lead to solutions, only worsen the problem. It means that only spirituality can bring about a breakthrough toward a truly New World, based on equal value, solidarity and respect. And what about all those who's inner balance have been grossly disturbed already? This is the miracle: while no psychologist/ psychiatrist can really restore wholeness, the Cosmic Mother can. One can never go back in time to once again enjoy your mother's care and dedication, the Eternal Mother, on the other hand is always available to everyone. How can She still provide maternal care, in such a way that life-long wounds heal?

The key characteristics of mother love are thus security, continuity and resonance. If in early life these basic needs are not met, deep down you will feel you missed the foundation of life. In many cases the ego tries to find substitutes for it. So you accumulate a lot of money for instance. Others go on a quest for the "lost paradise". Very soon it is obvious that these most fundamental needs cannot be satisfied through worldly sources. No creature on earth is able to give you basic security. You may have experienced a lot of disappointments already. So your quest necessarily becomes spiritual. However, this can become quite confusing too. How to know you'll find the right "thing?" The traditional God of the "great" religions appears to have suffered a serious setback. On the other hand, hasn't the Western world become a "spiritual" supermarket? You will discover that there will be only a few serious ways. It will take time to distinguish them e.g. know which one is suitable for you. Even if it pleases you at the beginning, very often it appears that most ways don't go deep enough. They aren't able to meet your deepest needs. So, once again, your quest starts. This time you are more determined. You will not be satisfied with "feeling good" approaches anymore. Instead, longing for the Truth, for the "Real Thing" is determining your Path. The surprise: it is indeed only a mother who is able to solve your most fundamental problem. And where you could never dream of: life is indeed giving you a second chance. It will take some time and effort before you may acknowledge it. Because coming closer to the core of your problem causes pain, sorrow and probably resistence. To go after some "glorious" spiritual goal is much more easy than to confront your most fundamental problem. that of having a helpless child inside of you.....

The most fundamental insight is that we all live in a Cosmic Womb. "Her" Bottomlessness is continuously giving birth to the Eternal Light ("God") and the universe. Everything lives in this Empty Space. Joke: we never went outside of the Womb! It is indeed impossible. Our first problem: that of the need for existential security is hereby solved. It isn't possible NOT to be safe. The Womb is All-Inclusive, nothing excluded. Once we recognize this a deep relief, a primordial sense of being "accepted" may enter our being. This new security even exceeds the safety feelings of our early childhood. Our new safety is rooted in Cosmic Reality, it can never taken from us anymore! Its logic consequence is its continuity. As a baby, being left alone could already cause intense stress e.g. panic. We thus not only need basic security, but also a deep trust that it will be always there. Again, in the world this cannot be found. The Cosmic Mother, on the other hand, is the Ultimate Continuum. Being Nothingness, She is everything, an ongoing Cauldron of Abundance, pouring out Life without interruption. We are part of this flow. Going within we even discover that deep down we are Her Lightbody, the Divine within. This inner Light is eternal, knowing neither time nor limits. Thus, returning to our Essence we KNOW that we are immortal. It can be compared to the feeling of mother's embrace. Researchers found out that those peoples - in this case South-American Indians - who carry their children on their bodies all the time, during all their activities, provide their children with a deep sense of being rooted in the Cosmos. We can have this same existential trust through taking refuge in the Cosmic Mother. Last but not least, our resonance with the mother. From birth on there is an intense, subtle and deep exchange between mother and child. This feedback is the foundation for the formation of character. While the mother - through her intuition - determines which impulses of her baby should be honored and which not, the Cosmic Mother is moulding people through Her dynamic Law of destruction and creation. Through the former the child learns to compromise between its needs and reality. Inner balance is the result. By surrendering to the Cosmic Mother one becomes a part of the Cosmic process, though, the latter breaking down everything old, evil, ugly and harmful, while giving birth to the new, fresh, young, healthy and good. By becoming part of it, the Cosmos is granting you a new inner balance, a balance that corresponds with the rithm e.g. cycles of existence. The Mother always giving you the right answers, affirming and declining your needs according to Her Eternal Wisdom. She will guide you through insights, "chance", events, "lessons", challenges, intuitions and dreams. Contemplation and prayer are the ways to support this process. 

The deterioriation of Western (European) youth is just the tip of the iceberg. While the burden of life in its totality and of the workplace in particular dramatically increases, the ability to cope with the pressure goes down with dazzling speed. Both are symptoms of essential aspects of life being out of balance. A house without proper foundations will collapse, the heavier the superstructure, the sooner. Factor number one is the lack of basic security. Brought about by the absence of both mother and father during the first years of life, something that has become widespread. Traditionally only boys had extra difficulties in finding their own identity, because of the fact that they had to abandon the maternal environment at a early stage, this in order "to become a man". It is the reason why men are "seekers", while girls could spend a much longer time with their mother, having all the time to ponder about her future role. One of the reasons why women usually have more inner stability. This, however, is rapidly changing. If girls too cannot fall back on a reliable mother-figure anymore, then their development toward maturity - like boys - will be greatly distorted. My prophesy is that in one decade the full picture will have evolved itself. The suffering - being alienated, thrown upon yourself, uprooted, facing increasing chaos, overwhelmed by existential Angst - will be accordingly. Lacking an integrated, stable personality, every pressure is too much, leading to early disfunction and burn-out. The positive side: men and women in one boat. One thing I pray for very much: that they - preferably at a very early time - recognize the cause of it, namely the absence of basic security. Once both genders acknowledge the root cause, a collective revival may emerge. A spiritual revival, aiming at Returning Home in order to become renewed. Once the True Self is born, a New "step in evolution" can be made. Only if (wo)mankind learns that life - if it wants to have a sustainable future - has to be in harmony with the Cosmos, only then its future is secured. In practice it means that "our spirit should become part of Heaven, our body part of nature and our "soul" part of the (new) community".

JAI MATA DI

Mother's Blessings to you all

Bede Griffiths: Surrender to the Mother
Christian-Hindu monk, one of the few who also experienced the Cosmic Mother.
Click here:

 

If you want to repeat Griffiths talk, click open circle down left on the video.
Don't click other videos, because then you're lost
(To get it back google "Bede Griffiths mother")

To read more about Bede Griffith's Breakthrough.
Click http://diversejourneys.com/?p=1241

home
In order to have a full overview of the work,
we recommend you to first going back to the beginning of
Han Marie Stiekema's website.
Please, click HOME and proceed from there
.

We are not responsible for the content of external links

1997-2012 © Copyright Han Marie Stiekema. All rights reserved.
Everyone may use this website as a source of inspiration. However, since it
is freely given, no-one can claim, copy or derive any text, rights,
position or status from this website.

Last revising: 08/08/13